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Thu, Jul. 7th, 2005, 10:24 pm

lets get fucked up and die
i am spleaking figuratively of course
like the last time that i committed suicide
"social suicide"

yeah so im already dead
on the inside but i can still pretend
with my memories and photographs i have learned to love the lie

i want to konw what its like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent
i want to know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense, yeah
let me in
let me into the club'cause i wnat to belong and i need to get strong
and if memory serves im addicted to words and there useless...in this department

lets get fucked up and die
im riding hard on the last legs of every lie
and the bmx bike of my life is about to explode
im about to explode

im a mess im a wreck
i am perfect and i have learned to accept
all my problems and shortcomings 'cause im so visceral, yet deeply inept

i want to thank you for being a part of my
"forget me nots and marigolds and other things that dont get old"
is it legal to do this?
i surely dont know.
its the only way i have learned to express myself
through other peoples descriptions of life
im afraid im alone and entirely useless...in this department

lets get fucked up and die
for the last time with feelings well try not to smile
as we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nights that still shock and surprise

i believe that i can overcome this and beat everything in the end
but i choose to abuse for the time being
maybe ill win
but for now ive decided to die

sister soldier youve been such a positive influence on my mental frame
if i could ever repay you i would but im hard up for cash and my memory lacks initative
goddamn the liquor stores closed we were so close to scoring
it hurts, it destroys 'til it kills.
i am tired and hungry and totally useless...in this department

I'm pissed off and depressed and this is just a great song to listen to when that happens.